Are You There God? It's Me, Becky*

Are you there, God?
I'm still unsure.
Still fighting off ghosts
in dark corners
where answers never seem to land.

I’m all grown up now, and off to grad school,
still measuring my worth in papers and exams,
in the endless not-yet of becoming me.

I’m still caught between here and there,
the girl I was, and the woman
I’m afraid to become.
Still not sure what that means,
or how I'm supposed to fit
in a world that wasn't meant
for someone like me.

Do you hear me in the small moments?
The trembling questions,
the tangled prayers caught
between hope and doubt?

I don’t need thunder or signs.
Just the feeling that you see me,
still trying to make sense
of this messy, marvelous world.

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*Title obviously and shamelessly borrowed from Judy Blume's novel Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret. Hope she doesn't mind.