If...

If the days had not blurred into nights
of locked doors and hollowed eyes;
if pills and needles had not been her refuge,
maybe I would have grown in softer soil.

If she hadn’t found me curled
on the floor naked and unraveling,
or my voice had been a whimper
instead of a sob;

if his hands had never touched,
and my skin had stayed my own,
or my bed was just a bed,
and not a place where I drowned;

if she hadn't turned
to face the monster
with all the savagery
of a mother defending her child,

maybe she would never
have outrun her own demons.