Just As I Am

I'm not easy to love,
in case you didn't notice.

I cry without warning,
feel the hurt before the reason,
carry alarms that won't stop ringing.

My heart folds in strange ways,
marked with bootprints
that aren't yours.

I hold tight to old ghosts,
fear what I should embrace,
and I know that hurts you sometimes.

I'm sorry.

I'm stubborn,
wander through mazes
I've built myself to stay lost.

And still, you love me.
Even when I hide from your light,
even when my tears
can't explain themselves.

You just hold me
as I am.

And for that,
I am quietly,
wildly
grateful.